Every Morning
Nov 11, 2023
Oh, my love, I am dying to see you… And I've finally, finally started to let myself believe that you're dying to see me, too…
But we're both so busy. And excuses are so few and far between this time of the year.
…I wonder where you are tonight…
Gosh, I wish we could have gone to that concert… What a date to have gotten to spend together, even if I have mostly left the numbers thing behind…
(says the guy who photographed the 1111 reflected in the window in front of him while waiting in the car for his kid this afternoon at 3:33pm… Or noticed that the dishwasher had 2:22 on it just now…)
Wouldn't it be nice to wake up to each other every morning?
No need for an excuse, no worrying that our love for each other will show too plainly? Just… us, together. Openly and freely.
Want to run away? I mean, I wouldn't leave my kids behind any more than you would yours… but, like, just… run away, for a month. Or two. Explore each other over coffee and beers. Over ice cream sundaes and mai tais. Chocolate syrup and honey. Find out if we're really as compatible as we both already know all the way down to our bones that we are.
sigh
I miss you so very much, ⭐️. And Facebook plus endless longing plus too much alcohol is a dangerous thing…
I've never wanted to get drunk with a person more than I want to get drunk with you. I mean really drunk. Even if it just results in us snoring on each other all night…
…white pants, a gray top… Hula-hoop and, what, a flight glass?… that was before we started hanging out, before my crush on you became full-blown love, but goodness… and another couple photos, same night, same outfit… showing off where you were… one of them very possibly one of the sexiest photos to have ever been taken ever in the entire history of photography…
…that purple dress… good lord, that purple dress… I've mentioned it before. Also from the beforetimes, when you were still just a person I liked a bit too much… God. Beauty, personified. I still wish I could have seen it in person…
I mean… on you. I guess I did see it in person a week or two after last mentioning it, hanging at your garage sale. It probably doesn't fit anymore anyways, but if you ever care to find a new one which does………
…from my own photo library, not even on Facebook, and you probably haven't even ever seen it… you, sitting in the grass, smiling down at the chick in your hands… I didn't even know the photo existed, until the Photos app connected it with some other more recent ones. Your house, in the background… still white… I guess it was a while ago. Maybe I should send it to you… it's such a very cute picture of you…
…hangin' out at mom's…21 weeks…oh, good fucking lord, fried green tomatoes…
sigh
Better head closer to the present before I get myself into too much trouble…
…mustard yellow sweater, the sweetest smile this earth has ever seen…
…purple eyeshadow, the tip of your tongue glistening behind purple painted lips, eyes as wide as a cat's and intricate as a forest canopy on a breezy midsummer afternoon…
…we never got to see it, but us together at the sample booth at that concert… how awkward was that? But gosh, I wish I had that photo… proof positive that our chemistry is so blindingly obvious that even complete strangers notice it…
…us sitting next to each other in beach chairs, you taking a video of what was happening on stage, me just enjoying the show and your presence… but you haven't seen that one, either…
…Ellen Ripley, curly hair and all, standing with a rare smile just inches from Ziggy Stardust… so… very… close…
And that brings us to now.
And that's probably enough.
Probably more than enough. Probably far, far too much…
sigh
You have always been beautiful, ⭐️. You always will be. And I will always, always love you.
Maybe I always have.
sigh
I am so stupidly in love with you. You truly have no idea.
(wishing I just had a clear path to just. finally. be.) Yours.